I don’t know about you, but seeing the return of back-to-school supplies in stores always makes me feel reflective. This time of year brings back memories of dropping our youngest off at college and the tearful ride back home, knowing I was leaving behind not just our daughter but a time of life I loved so much. And while I’m not wild about the term empty nest, it’s a pretty good description of what our home felt like for the next several months.
That was over ten years ago. And, honestly, those feelings of sadness and loss–sometimes called empty nest syndrome–still come up now and then, especially after a holiday or family event when everyone gathers and then leaves again.
The best advice I have for friends whose kids are leaving home is to just let yourself feel all the feelings. Shed your tears for the end of this chapter.
You need to respect and cherish your life’s seasons. But be careful not to let yourself get stuck there. At some point, you have to let the next chapter begin.
Believe it or not, eventually you’ll find things to love and appreciate about an empty nest. In the past few years, my life has blossomed in ways I never could have imagined.
And apparently I’m not alone, because research shows that women over 50 are among the happiest and most content!
If you’re currently in the middle of it all, wondering what’s next as an empty nester and how long these feelings will last, let me encourage you–there is life after your children leave home!
While becoming an empty nester is a life-changing experience, it doesn’t have to throw you off track.
There’s so much happiness in store for you! That’s why I wrote this post–to encourage you to focus on what’s next. God loves us too much to let us stay where we are. He’s always nudging us forward and working things out for our highest good.
If you stay open, this stage of life can be an amazing time of growth and new possibilities. This is your opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh.
Now is the time to rediscover all the activities you set aside while you were raising your kids. Can you remember what they were? After our girls left home, I had a hard time recalling what I enjoyed doing before we had children!
To help you get started, I made a list of things to do after the kids leave home. These are the things that helped me move past heartache and find joy and purpose as an empty nester.
I realize many of these ideas might seem obvious, but when you’re in the middle of it all, sometimes you can’t think of anything productive or positive to do, so I hope this list opens your mind and heart to some of the possibilities available to you after your kids leave home.
How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home
1. Volunteer
I can’t think of a better way to move past heartache than by reaching out and helping others who are in need, whether it’s an elderly person who could use some groceries or company, a neighbor who’s going through a hard time, or a teacher who needs an extra pair of hands in the classroom.
2. Travel
An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to start planning trips to places you’ve always wanted to see. I’ve found that planning and looking forward to a getaway is almost as much fun as the actual trip!
After becoming empty nesters, my husband and I traveled to Paris and Italy for 10 days — something we’d talked and dreamed about for years. It ended up being one of the highlights of our lives, and we hope to return soon!
3. Expand your culinary skills
This is the perfect time to broaden your home cooking or baking skills, try out new recipes, and discover new cuisines. Now you can use all those ingredients your kids didn’t like!
My Kitchen Counter Stool Review
4. Declutter your spaces
I’ve found that having too much stuff – even if it’s hidden behind a closet door – affects my energy and creativity.
Decluttering our closets and kitchen every few months helps clear out the mental cobwebs and gives me a whole new outlook on life!
5. Get creative
An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to explore or rekindle a love of hobbies like painting, calligraphy, knitting, pottery making, woodworking, sewing, cross-stitch … the possibilities are endless!
Almost everyone I know (myself included!) would like to improve their photography and photo editing skills, whether that involves learning how to use all the features on their iPhone or mastering the fancy digital camera gathering dust in a closet.
There are hundreds of online courses available through sites like Teachable, as well as local college classes, and free tutorials on YouTube sharing tips on whatever creative outlet you choose.
6. Put pen to paper
Have you ever dreamed of becoming an author? Now’s the time to start writing! You never know who is waiting to hear what you have to say.
7. Start a blog
Blogging is another great way to connect with others and share your ideas, experience, and creativity. It’s also a wonderful incentive to learn new things!
8. Plant a garden
There’s something about getting your hands in the dirt, nurturing plants, and seeing them thrive that is so satisfying!
On the same note, having potted plants and flowers indoors and on your porch and patio can bring new life to your home.
9. Turn your hobby into a business
After becoming an empty nester, I took my love of interior design, writing, cooking, health, and travel and poured it into a blog and business.
I think this one step, more than anything else on this list, helped me find a new sense of purpose as an empty nester.
10. Take time for self care and relaxation
Now’s your chance to enjoy some downtime, spend time sitting in the garden, appreciate the sunrise or sunset, and take long baths (without kids banging on the bathroom door!).
Our Master Bathroom Renovation
Or, you might want to catch up on some of the binge-worthy TV series everyone’s talking about. Palm Royale, Escape to the Chateau, The Crown, The Queen’s Gambit, The Great British Baking Show, All Creatures Great and Small, The Newsroom — and of course, Friends — are a few of our favorites.
11. Focus on your health
My emotions were all over the place as I adjusted to life as an empty nester (menopause didn’t help either!), but this book helped me balance my moods.
At this time of life, it’s also a great idea to see your doctor or naturopath to make sure your diet and hormone levels are in balance.
12. Be grateful
I’ve noticed I’m happiest when I focus on what’s going well in my life, rather than what’s not, so every day I try to write down — or at least think of — several things for which I’m grateful.
13. Invite someone over for dinner
Gathering people around the dinner table is one of my favorite things to do — especially now that I’m an empty nester.
If you’re a little rusty in the hosting department and need some tips, I wrote a post on how to host a casual dinner party, including menu ideas.
14. Connect with other empty nesters on social media
I’ve met some of the nicest women in the home décor community over on Instagram, but you might prefer YouTube, Facebook, or Pinterest.
15. Master your mindset
To keep negative thoughts from railroading my day, as I’m cooking or doing things around the house, I like to pop in my AirPods and listen to motivational podcasts or YouTube videos. And at night, I always read something positive before I fall asleep.
In addition, no matter how busy I get, I try to meditate for a few minutes every day. Even though I often just sit there and think about my to-do list, I know meditating makes me a happier, calmer person.
Spending less time on social media and avoiding the news were also huge game-changers for me!
16. Learn a new language
My husband and love watching Escape to the Chateau (on Peacock). The beautiful scenes of the French countryside make us want to buy a castle and retire in Provence.
So when our younger daughter told me about a free language-learning app called Duolingo, I downloaded it on my phone and started taking French lessons.
Now, instead of scrolling through social media in the evening, I spend a few minutes learning a new language. Tres bien!
17. Get moving
An empty nest provides more time to take walks or hikes, add some strength training to your routine, take tennis or golf lessons, join a gym, or work out at home.
I like to begin each day with some gentle yoga. It only takes a few minutes, but it helps keep my body and mind flexible and balanced.
18. Switch up your beauty routine
I know it sounds superficial, but a change in your makeup, hair style, or hair color can go a long way in improving your outlook on life. Just getting my roots touched up makes me feel like a new person!
19. Update your wardrobe
Refreshing your sense of style can help you see yourself in a new light and, in turn, help you approach the world in a more confident way.
One of these days, I’d love to pare down my closet and put together a high-quality capsule wardrobe for each season. I’m sure it would make getting dressed in the morning much easier!
20. Become tech savvy
Have you always wanted to learn how to use Photoshop, PowerPoint, Canva, or Excel? Now’s the perfect time to master the latest apps, programs, and gadgets–your kids will be so impressed!
21. Refresh your spaces
I’ve always loved poring over home catalogs and magazines for design inspiration, but once I began empty nesting, interior design and decorating became my passion.
I’ve found that simply moving the furniture around or adding some fresh flowers or different pillows to a space can lift my spirits and give me a new outlook on life.
If you’re interested in updating your home, here’s a page sharing my decorating and design posts.
22. Forge a closer relationship with your kids
When my daughters were teenagers, we talked about everything, shared our daily ups and downs, and went shopping together, so when they left home I felt like I’d lost my best friends!
But soon I discovered that one of the most wonderful things about empty nesting is getting to know my kids as adults.
Now we get together for coffee, plan family vacations — and still go shopping together! Even though our relationship is different, it’s still rich and wonderful.
23. Strengthen your marriage
If you relegated your marriage to the back burner while you focused on your kids (I know I did), an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
This is a great time to explore new activities and hobbies as a couple. Soon after our younger daughter left home, my husband and I took ballroom dancing lessons at the local community college, which gave us time to connect in a whole new way. We had a lot of fun — and since we aren’t the greatest dancers, we also laughed a lot!
24. Continue your education
The empty nest years are a great time to take some online classes, finish your degree, or pursue a brand new profession.
Even though I have a business degree, I also love learning about natural wellness, so after our girls left home I went to nutrition school and received my health coaching certification.
25. Nurture your friendships
It’s so easy to neglect our friendships while we’re busy raising kids, but an empty nest provides a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with old friends.
I’ve found that one of the many benefits empty nesting is you can now enjoy long conversations without being interrupted!
26. Meet with a financial advisor
It’s always a good idea to connect with a financial expert about your future plans to make sure you’ll have enough money to retire when the time comes.
And, whether you’re married or single, if you don’t have a current will, this is also a great time to see an estate attorney and get that done, too.
27. Spend some time with little ones
There are many ways to spend time with children after your kids leave home, including volunteering at schools, reading to toddlers at the library, or teaching Sunday School — which, for a few years, is how my husband and I stayed involved with little ones when our girls were teens.
28. Connect with extended family
After your children leave home, getting together with your parents and siblings is a great way to fill the need for connection.
And, if your family is spread out across the country or world, you might even want to plan a reunion!
29. Adopt a pet
Pet adoption, fostering, and animal rescue are great ways to fill an empty nest — and when it comes to animals, you always end up receiving much more love than you give!
After our English bulldog passed away two years ago, we were so heartbroken we thought we’d never adopt another pet. But little Finnley (a mini golden doodle) made his way to us last summer, and I can’t begin to tell you how much joy he’s brought to our home and lives!
30. Join a club
If you enjoy socializing, you might want to think about joining a book club, garden club, bridge club, wine club, church group, or civic organization.
Clubs are a great way to make new friends, explore an interest or hobby, learn something new, and alleviate the loneliness and boredom that can come with being an empty nester.
31. Go on a date
Now that your kids have flown the nest, this is a great time to start going on dates, visiting new restaurants, going to the beach, to shows, and checking out the latest museum exhibits.
Whether you’re married or single, getting out of the house and doing new things — even if you go by yourself — is a great way to keep from getting stuck in a rut.
32. Take a road trip
Are there places in the country you’ve always wanted to visit? Empty nesting provides the perfect opportunity to take an extended road trip, visit national parks, and check a few places off your bucket list.
33. Lose yourself in a good book
Finally, this is your chance to read all those books that have been sitting on your nightstand for years!
Reading has the ability to carry me away, inspire, and change my outlook on life.
Lately, I’m into non-fiction, but when I want to immerse myself in another world, here’s a charming book series I love.
Whether you’re a new, seasoned, or soon-to-be empty nester, I hope this list gave you some encouragement and ideas of activities to do after your kids leave home.
This is your chance to start fresh and give yourself all the good books, great food, long walks, special trips, and happy memories you deserve. Wishing you much joy on your journey! xo Jane
P.S. If your feelings of sadness, grief, and other symptoms of empty nest syndrome are severe and/or last more than a few weeks, please seek out professional help.
Looking for more ideas and inspiration? Here are a few favorite posts from Jane at Home:
Nancy Meyers Style: How to Bring the Look to Your Kitchen and Home
2024 Home Decor Trends and Design Styles You Will Love
How to Choose a Design Style that Feels Right for You
Modern Coastal Decorating Ideas for Your Home
What is Coastal Grandmother Style? (and why I love it!)
California Casual Interior Design: How to Bring Chic West Coast Style to Your Home
A Simple Guide to Mixing Metals in the Bathroom
Inspiring Kitchen Design Ideas for Your Next Renovation
The New Studio McGee Target Collection
Modern Bedroom Design Ideas for a Dreamy Master Suite
Modern Entryway Ideas for a Beautiful First Impression
Beautiful Living Room Decorating Ideas
93 Comments
Connie
April 9, 2019 at 3:33 pmI totally get this! My 20-year old daughter moved from WA to FL last week, to live with a boyfriend she met over the internet. It is very heartbreaking and I laid on her bed last night and cried. But working in the field I’m working in really helps to keep connected to other people in business. My husband and I are being purposeful with our marriage, and our senior son will be leaving for the summer, so we’ll have an empty nest too! Sadness does overwhelm me at times, but I know God is the source of my comfort, and when I help others through tough times, it helps me too!
Jane
April 10, 2019 at 7:59 amThank you so much for your lovely comment, Connie! I love your positive attitude and agree that reaching out and helping others helps to ease the feelings of loss during this time. I hope all goes well for you and your family over the coming weeks and months. Sending loving thoughts your way. xo jane
Tammy
January 3, 2019 at 1:55 pmThanks so much for this read Jane! I too have had a tough Holiday. My daughter is in college but still comes home regularly so I really didnt experience all this sadness until she came home for Winter Break with her boyfriend. They have been dating for quite some time but I have now realized that our relationship has now changed with her excitement of future plans with him…. I am going to share this with my husband since I know he will benefit from it also. I thought we were all by ourselves with this…. I plan to move forward with the garden when Spring comes and plan new things for my husband and I to do together. Also-thanks for reminding me to call on God-should’ve known that anyway… I believe God led me to your post…Thanks Jane
Jane
January 3, 2019 at 7:36 pmThank you so much for your beautiful comment, Tammy. You’re definitely not alone in this, and I think it helps to know that others understand what you’re going through. This time of life brings so many changes, sometimes it’s hard to know where to begin. I’m so thankful you found something here to help you get started–and I think planning a garden is the perfect way! Keep me posted on how it goes! Wishing you all my best, xo jane
Jane Doe
December 28, 2018 at 11:33 pmMy 5 children have grown, where has the time gone. We are now empty nesters and This has been one of the hardest Christmas I have ever experienced.
Four out of the five children came home. They are different, our relationship is different, they are grown and independent. I need to figure out my life after being a mom and not feel guilty. Thank you for the ideas.
Jane
December 29, 2018 at 11:55 amI’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. I hope it helps to know that you’ll find your bearings. Even though things are different now, you’ll find a new kind of relationship with your kids can also be wonderful! Sending love and good thoughts your way — xo jane
Lisa Jondro
December 19, 2018 at 1:58 pmThank you, both my kids are moving out today. needed this read. makes me feel better and now i have ideas on what to do.
Thank you again Lisa
Jane
December 22, 2018 at 1:04 pmHi Lisa, thank you so much for your comment! I know this is a tough time, but I’m so glad to hear you found some ideas to help you through. Sending good thoughts your way! xo jane
Vickie
October 10, 2018 at 10:00 amWow, I posted a reply and I’m not sure if it went through or not. I can’t remember what I wrote but I know that I am having strong emotions as my child has left the home. I’m alone (no husband) and am disabled. Not sure what kind of life to envision now.
Thanks for your post.
Jane
November 19, 2018 at 9:24 amHi Vickie! Yes, I received your post! Thank you so much for sharing! xo jane
Janeke
December 29, 2018 at 7:14 pmFirst of all, Jane, thank you for this! I am preparing myself for when my son moves to Finland in February, and I’m already doing a couple of these things, but it’s nice to have a few more ideas.
Vickie, I too, am disabled. My husband & I have raised 3 amazing sons, and now, moving forward, I started going to Aquarobics a few years ago to get fitter, and recently completed an instructor’s course, I am learning to crochet and together, Hubby & I plan to do some traveling.
Jane
December 30, 2018 at 8:21 amJaneke, thank you so much for your lovely comment! It sounds like you have an amazing outlook, and I wish you all the best during this new, exciting time of life! xo jane
Vickie
October 10, 2018 at 9:56 amI just read your post and I thank you so much for writing this and more importantly, for me, adding God into your writing. When I first looked at the list I kinda cringed only because I couldn’t see myself doing those things. I was once told that being a mother is about raising kids to “let them go” and fly on their own. As you mentioned in your writings you have a better relationship with your girls. I only have one child and he is a young man whom I miss dearly. I’m happy for him and want the best for him, but really feel obsolete and unloved at his moving out. Mind you, it wasn’t a bad experience, he wasn’t upset with me (at least not that I know of). I miss hearing from him daily with the good morning texts or the text saying his is on his way home. Sometimes I feel that women get discarded by children, husbands and friends. As we age it really feels lonely. I don’t know how to make new friends. In these day and age, friends aren’t really friends they leave you so fast once they are finished with you. Husbands, I don’t have one and men want younger women so I feel lost in that category as well. Goodness, is there really a life after all this and is it true what you said women are more content between ages 50-70 as I’m not content.
Jane
November 19, 2018 at 9:23 amThank you so much for your lovely share, Vickie. I know you’ll find your new direction and purpose! Sending love and good thoughts your way during this time of big changes! xo jane
Anonymous
September 24, 2018 at 6:32 pmAfter being a mum since I was 17 years old my last child has left home I feel lost and don’t know where to start I cry most days missing him my family tells me to get over it.im trying harder every day I miss him but understand that is what he wants to do
How do I let go and move on with mine and my husbands life being a mum was my life I did it all from school concerts to pick up drop off even as he got older I would drop and pick up from work.is it harder becos he was my last
Kind regards donna.
Anita
September 20, 2018 at 12:27 amThank you Jane, I have been sitting in my backyard thinking about my life. . 51 years old, lovely daughter getting ready to leave the nest, happy marriage of 29 years, home I love, great life in so many ways, but feeling a little lost and also feeling guilty for feeling like that when I have so much to be grateful for. What next – who am I when I am not Mum? Then I stumble on this post and I am given some ideas and feeling some excitement again. Its difficult remembering the person you used to be but I’m guessing it can be fun rediscovering her!!
Jane
September 20, 2018 at 7:36 amThank you so much for your lovely comment, Anita! The feelings you shared are exactly what I went through when our youngest left home. So glad to hear you’re feeling a spark of excitement and enthusiasm for rediscovering what you love. That’s all it takes! I wish you all my best! xo jane
Anonymous
August 22, 2018 at 11:47 amThanks. Took my youngest 7.5 hours north then drove back home reloaded the van and drove 8 hours south to meet the oldest to take her her stuff. She is starting her junior year and just spent the last 16 months in China. On the road trip back I did stop at Cape Hatteras to climb, which has been on my bucket list for 19 years. Fortunately I still like my husband, but it is the day to day change not sure about. I’ve loved hosting all the extra kids over the years.
Thanks for the encouragement. Let the adventure continue….
Jane
August 26, 2018 at 8:03 amThank you so much for your lovely comment. It is the day-to-day change that seems the hardest, but it sounds like you have a great attitude about it all. You’re so right–this time of life is an adventure, and I think if we approach it that way it opens up all sorts of wonderful possibilities! xo jane
Anonymous
August 18, 2018 at 5:24 amSo encouraged to find this today. We are taking our youngest to college today. I’m so happy for her but, as others have said, wondering who I am now. We got married young and had our first child right away. We fostered and adopted after raising our sons so I have been a mom for 45 years. Great ideas here. Especially to stay positive. Everything will be ok.
Jane
September 20, 2018 at 7:41 amThank you so much for your wonderful comment! I’m sure that after mothering for 45 years this is a big change for you! But I love your comment about staying positive and knowing that everything will be okay. That was my mantra when our youngest left home, and it all turned out to be true! xo jane
Anonymous
August 16, 2018 at 11:31 amI googled “what todo when the kids leave”, and your blog showed up first. Just found out my son is going to be stationed in Alaska..3000 miles away. My heart broken. I did not realize how much of my fantasies revolved around looking forward to Sunday dinners and playing with grandkids )which aren’t even here yet!).
I like your list of things and oppportunities. It’s encouraging to have ideas to give my mind and hands something else to do I agree, there should be a group for all of us suddenly lost souls. It of course, we aren’t truly lost, just being redirected.
I pray we all find the comfort and vision and new purpose we all need.
Becoming grateful, Teri
Jane
August 16, 2018 at 4:15 pmThank you so much for your lovely comment, Teri! I know you’ll find your new direction and purpose! Sending love and good thoughts your way during this time of big changes! xo jane
Kathy
August 10, 2018 at 3:17 pmHi Gene… I’ve been divorced for 10 years and my kids are 32 and 30. We all live within 10 minutes of each other and we’re very close. My son just told us last week that he’s got a job opportunity in California. He’s there now with the interview and I am devastated if he leaves to go to California. Will never see him again. It’s just the three of us.
Jane
August 16, 2018 at 4:12 pmThank you so much for your comment! I hope everything works out for the best for your and your kids! xo jane