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How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home

I don’t know about you, but seeing the return of back-to-school supplies in stores always makes me feel reflective.  This time of year brings back memories of dropping our youngest off at college and the tearful ride back home, knowing I was leaving behind not just our daughter but a time of life I loved so much. And while I’m not wild about the term empty nest, it’s a pretty good description of what our home felt like for the next several months.

That was over ten years ago.  And, honestly, those feelings of sadness and loss–sometimes called empty nest syndrome–still come up now and then, especially after a holiday or family event when everyone gathers and then leaves again.

The best advice I have for friends whose kids are leaving home is to just let yourself feel all the feelings. Shed your tears for the end of this chapter. 

You need to respect and cherish your life’s seasons.  But be careful not to let yourself get stuck there.  At some point you have to allow the next chapter to begin.

How to thrive with an empty nest - what to do after the kids leave home

Believe it or not, eventually you’ll find things to love and appreciate about an empty nest.  In the past few years, my life has blossomed in ways I never imagined.

And apparently I’m not alone, because research shows that women over 50 are among the happiest and most content!

If you’re currently in the middle of it all, wondering what’s next as an empty nester and how long these feelings will last, let me encourage you–there is life after your children leave home!

While becoming an empty nester is a life-changing experience, it doesn’t have to throw you off track. 

There’s so much happiness in store for you!  That’s why I wrote this post–to encourage you to focus on what’s next.  God loves us too much to let us stay where we are.  He’s always nudging us forward and working things out for our highest good.

If you stay open, this stage of life can be an amazing time of growth and new possibilities.  This is your opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh.

Now is the time to rediscover all the activities you set aside while you were raising your kids.  Can you remember what they were? After our girls left home, I had a hard time recalling what I enjoyed doing before we had children!

To help you get started, I made a list of things to do after the kids leave home.  These are the things that helped me move past heartache and find joy and purpose as an empty nester.

I realize many of these ideas might seem obvious, but when you’re in the middle of it all, sometimes you can’t think of anything productive or positive to do, so I hope this list opens your mind and heart to some of the possibilities available to you after your kids leave home. 

How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home

1.  Volunteer

I can’t think of a better way to move past heartache than by reaching out and helping others who are in need, whether it’s an elderly person who could use some groceries or company, a neighbor who’s going through a hard time, or a teacher who needs an extra pair of hands in the classroom.

2.  Travel

An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to start planning trips to places you’ve always wanted to see.  I’ve found that planning and looking forward to a getaway is almost as much fun as the actual trip! 

After becoming empty nesters, my husband and I traveled to Paris and Italy for 10 days — something we’d talked and dreamed about for years.  It ended up being one of the highlights of our lives, and we hope to return soon!

3. Expand your culinary skills

This is the perfect time to broaden your home cooking or baking skills, try out new recipes, and discover new cuisines.  Now you can use all those ingredients your kids didn’t like!  Here’s a page sharing a few of my favorite recipes.

4.  Declutter your spaces

I’ve found that having too much stuff–even if it’s hidden behind a closet door–affects my energy and creativity. Decluttering our home every few months helps clear out the mental cobwebs and gives me a new outlook on life.  

If you need some encouragement and motivation to declutter and get organized, here’s my post sharing How to Declutter Your Home.

5. Get creative

An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to explore or rekindle a love of hobbies like painting, calligraphy, knitting, pottery making, woodworking, sewing, cross-stitch … the possibilities are endless!  

Almost everyone I know (myself included!) would like to improve their photography and photo editing skills, whether that involves learning how to use all the features on their iPhone or mastering the fancy digital camera gathering dust in a closet. 

There are hundreds of online courses available through sites like Teachable, as well as local college classes, and free tutorials on YouTube sharing tips on whatever creative outlet you choose.

6. Put pen to paper

Have you ever dreamed of becoming an author?  Now’s the time to start writing!  You never know who is waiting to hear what you have to say. 

7. Start a blog

Blogging is another great way to connect with others and share your ideas, experience, and creativity.  It’s also a wonderful incentive to learn new things!

8. Plant a garden

There’s something about getting your hands in the dirt, nurturing plants, and seeing them thrive that is so satisfying!  

On the same note, having potted plants and flowers indoors and on your porch and patio can bring new life to your home.  

Orchids are a favorite of mine — I love the touch of elegance they bring to any space.  Here’s a post I wrote on How to Get Orchids to Bloom Again.

9. Turn your hobby into a business

After becoming an empty nester, I took my love of interior design, writing, cooking, health, and travel and poured it into a blog and business.  I think this one step, more than anything else on this list, helped me find a new sense of purpose as an empty nester.

10. Take time for self care and relaxation

Now’s your chance to enjoy some downtime, spend time sitting in the garden, appreciate the sunrise or sunset, and take long baths (without kids banging on the bathroom door!). 

Or, you might want to catch up on some of the binge-worthy TV series everyone’s talking about.  Escape to the Chateau, The Crown, The Queen’s Gambit, The Great British Baking Show, and The Newsroom are some of our favorites. 

11. Focus on your health

My emotions were up and down as I adjusted to life as an empty nester (menopause didn’t help either!), but this book helped me balance my moods.  At this time of life, it’s also a great idea to see your doctor or naturopath to make sure your diet and hormone levels are in balance.

12. Be a grateful empty nester

I’ve noticed I’m happiest when I focus on what’s going well in my life, rather than what’s not, so every day I try to write down — or at least think of  — several things for which I’m grateful.  

13. Invite someone over for dinner

Gathering people around the dinner table is one of my favorite things to do–especially now that we have an empty nest.  If you’re a little rusty in the hosting department and need some tips, I wrote a post on how to host a casual dinner party, including menu ideas.

14. Connect with other empty nesters on social media

I’ve met some of the nicest women in the home décor community over on Instagram, but you might prefer YouTube, Facebook, or Pinterest. 

15. Stay positive

During the day, as I’m cooking or doing things around the house, I pop in my AirPods and listen to motivational podcasts or YouTube videos.  And at night, I always read something positive before I fall asleep.  

In addition, no matter how busy I get, I try to meditate for a few minutes every day.  Even though I often just sit there and think about my to-do list, I know meditating makes me a happier person overall. 

Spending less time on social media and avoiding the news were also big game-changers for me!

16. Learn a new language

My husband and love watching Escape to the Chateau (on Peacock).  All the beautiful scenes of the French countryside have us dreaming of making a return trip to France.

So when our younger daughter told me about a free language-learning app called Duolingo, I downloaded it on my phone and started taking French lessons.

Now, instead of scrolling through social media in the evening, I spend a few minutes learning something new! 

17. Get moving

This is a great time to begin taking daily walks or hikes, add some strength training to your routine, take tennis or golf lessons, join a gym, or get some exercise DVDs from Amazon and work out at home. 

I like to begin my day with some gentle yoga.  It only takes a few minutes, but I think it helps keep my body and mind flexible.

18. Switch up your beauty routine

I know it might sound superficial, but a change in your makeup, hair style, or hair color can go a long way in improving your outlook on life. Just getting my roots touched up makes me feel like an entirely new person! 

19. Update your wardrobe

Refreshing your sense of style can help you see yourself in a new light and, in turn, help you approach the world in a more confident way. 

One of these days, I’d love to pare down my closet and put together a high-quality capsule wardrobe for each season.  I’m sure it would make getting dressed in the morning much easier!

20.  Become tech savvy

Have you always wanted to learn how to use Photoshop, PowerPoint, Canva, or Excel?  Now’s the perfect time to master the latest apps, programs, and gadgets–your kids will be so impressed!

21. Refresh your spaces

I’ve always loved poring over home catalogs and magazines for design inspiration, but once I became an empty nester, interior design and decorating became my passion. 

I’ve found that simply moving the furniture around or adding some fresh flowers or different pillows to a space can lift my spirits and give me a new outlook on life. 

If you’re interested in updating your home, here’s a page sharing my decorating and design posts.  

22. Build a new relationship with your kids

When my daughters were teenagers, we talked about everything, shared our daily ups and downs, and went shopping together, so when they left home I felt like I’d lost my best friends! 

But soon I discovered that one of the most wonderful things about being an empty nester is getting to know my kids as adults (and now parents themselves).

Now we get together for coffee, plan family vacations — and still go shopping together!  Even though our relationship is different, it’s still rich and wonderful.

23. Strengthen your marriage

If you relegated your marriage to the back burner while you focused on your kids, an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and remember why you fell in love in the first place. 

This is a great time to explore new activities and hobbies as a couple.  Soon after our youngest left home, my husband and I took ballroom dancing lessons at the local community college, which gave us an opportunity to connect in a whole new way.

24. Continue your education

This is also a great time to take some online classes, finish your degree, or pursue a brand new profession.

Even though I have a business degree, I also love learning about natural wellness, so after our girls left home I went to nutrition school and received my health coach certification!

25. Nurture your friendships

It’s so easy to neglect friendships while we’re busy raising our kids, but an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your friends. And one of the many benefits of being an empty nester is you can now enjoy long conversations without interruption!

26. Meet with a financial advisor

It’s always a good idea to connect with a financial expert about your future plans to make sure you’ll have enough money to retire when the time comes. 

And, whether you’re married or single, if you don’t have a current will, this is also a great time to see an estate attorney and get that done, too.  

27. Spend some time with little ones

There are many ways to spend time with children after your kids leave home, including volunteering at schools, reading to toddlers at the library, or teaching Sunday School — which is how my husband and I stayed involved with little ones after our girls grew up.

28. Connect with extended family

After your children leave home, getting together with your parents and siblings is a great way to fill the need for connection.  And, if your family is spread out across the country or world, you might even want to plan a reunion!

29. Adopt a pet

Pet adoption, fostering, and animal rescue are great ways to fill an empty nest — and when it comes to animals, you always end up receiving much more love than you give!

30.  Join a club

If you enjoy socializing, you might want to think about joining a book club, garden club, bridge club, wine club, church group, or civic organization. 

Clubs are a great way to make new friends, explore an interest or hobby, learn something new, and alleviate the loneliness and boredom that can come with being an empty nester. 

31.  Plan an outing

Now that your kids have flown the nest, this is a great time to start going on dates, visiting new restaurants, going to shows, and checking out the latest museum exhibits. 

Whether you’re married or single, getting out of the house and doing new things — even if you go by yourself — is a great way to keep from getting stuck in a rut.

32.  Take a road trip

Are there places you’ve always wanted to visit?  An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to load up the car and take a road trip, visit national parks, and see different parts of the country.

33. Lose yourself in a good book

Finally, this is your chance to read all those books that have been sitting on your nightstand for years! Reading has the ability to carry us away, inspire, and change our outlook on life.  

Lately, I’m into non-fiction, but when I want to immerse myself in another world, here’s a charming book series I love.

Final thoughts on empty nesting

Whether you’re a new, seasoned, or soon-to-be empty nester, I hope this list gave you some encouragement and ideas of activities to do after your kids leave home.

This is your chance to start fresh and give yourself all the good books, great food, long walks, special trips, and happy memories you deserve. Wishing you much joy and love on your journey! xo Jane

P.S. If your feelings of sadness, grief, and other symptoms of empty nest syndrome are severe and/or last more than a few weeks, please seek out professional help. 

Looking for more ideas and inspiration?  Here are a few favorite posts from the blog:

How to Add a Touch of Nancy Meyers Style to Your Kitchen and Home

2023 Home Decor Trends and Design Styles You Will Love

How to Choose a Design Style that Feels Right for You

Modern Coastal Decorating Ideas for Your Home

What is Coastal Grandmother Style? (and why I love it!)

California Casual Interior Design: How to Bring West Coast Style to Your Home

A Simple Guide to Mixing Metals in the Bathroom

Inspiring Kitchen Design Ideas for Your Next Renovation

The New Studio McGee Target Collection

Modern Bedroom Design Ideas for a Dreamy Master Suite

Modern Entryway Ideas for a Beautiful First Impression

Beautiful Living Room Decorating Ideas

Modern Dining Room Ideas for Beautiful Gatherings

Modern Patio Ideas for Beautiful Outdoor Living

 

93 Comments

  • Matilda Badoe
    August 25, 2021 at 5:00 am

    Thank you for taking the time to start this blog…I stand one day away from my daughter( the last of three) going to college and really, not sure what awaits me other than knowing a new chapter is opening up. I still remember the feeling when my oldest daughter went to college 9 years ago. Then the second daughter…by then, i had psyched up not to be so woe begone(literally) and it helped to have the third one at home.
    It is encouraging to know women are their happiest between 50-70 years ! i am trusting God to see my husband and i through this season of life. One part of me is confident that though it may be a new normal, life will still be as exciting with the Holy Spirit guidance. I am looking forward to catching up on reading once again(without all the interruptions!). My daughter suggested this morning i teach in a college as an adjunct professor or take to consulting. These are all great ideas i need to explore. Huh! once again, thank you for this blog and all the ideas you shared.

    Reply
    • Jane
      September 10, 2021 at 1:40 pm

      Matilda, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I think we all can relate to your experience of not knowing what awaits us, other than a new chapter is about to begin. I love your insights and hope you’ll keep us posted on how everything is going now that your third daughter has flown the nest! xo Jane

      Reply
  • Anonymous
    August 16, 2021 at 9:40 pm

    Thank you <3
    I needed this affirmation so desperately

    Reply
    • Jane
      August 17, 2021 at 4:27 pm

      I’m so glad you found it helpful! xo

      Reply
  • Elaine Murphy
    August 9, 2021 at 12:28 am

    Having spent lockdown with both my kids their partners & my husband I must be one of the lucky ones… both kids leave home this month husband works hard & has busy W/E exercising… gutted the house …. Delighted for my kids & their exciting new paths … Thank God the dog makes me exercise whatever the weather …. Excited but nervous about the future not sure I like all the me time but here’s to the next chapter hope it’s as rewarding as the last 50 years Xx good luck every one xx

    Reply
    • Jane
      August 17, 2021 at 4:40 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing, Elaine! With an amazing attitude like yours, I’m sure you’ll navigate your next chapter with grace and ease. I had to laugh about your dog making you exercise. I wish I could say the same, but with an English bulldog who sleeps 23 hours a day, it’s not happening! Wishing you all the best over the coming weeks! xo

      Reply
  • Melody
    June 5, 2021 at 11:40 am

    Hi
    I’m a single mom of a soon to be 17 year old son. I raised him all by myself self after a messy divorce while I was pregnant. My son will be on his way to college in about a year but while he’s home he rarely comes downstairs to talk and I guess he’s pulling away as all teen age boys do at his age. I’m 58 years old a hard worker so I can manage all finances and don’t have any friends outside work as a result. Already feeling like an empty nester. My son has always been my focus in life since he was born due to lack of a father in his life and me trying to provide all he needs. I’m feeling depressed and trying to figure out what I can do to be independent so I don’t rely on my son for my happiness. My heart feels heavy and wants to be included in his life but another voice in me says I have to let go. I appreciate your blog .

    Reply
    • Jane
      June 6, 2021 at 10:52 am

      Hi, Melody — thank you so much for sharing your experience and feelings. Sending much love your way during this time of transition. I hope you’ll find comfort knowing others can relate to what you’re going through. xo Jane

      Reply
    • Cherie
      January 8, 2022 at 2:11 pm

      Melody, I feel your pain.
      Single parent to two children now 19 and 14 and my daughter left for uni 3 months ago. Spent a lot of time the previous 4 years in her bedroom studying for GCSEs and A levels but just being here was I suppose enough and it became the norm. Now she’s gone , although I have my son ( on x box a lit) home feels empty. She came back for Xmas and seemed even more less here than before. If not out with friends to a new late I’m not used to ( midnight, 2am) she’s in her room and even if here in body, not really here if you know what I mean.
      My life seems to have changed just like that. Acceptance is now key. Nothing I can do about my daughters age and her new life. Will now just work through the adjustment.
      You’re not alone- we’ll get through it xx

      Reply
    • Theresa
      January 18, 2022 at 3:11 am

      Hello Melody. I do not know you, but I feel your pain as I’m going through the same in my life. Sending you prayers and mother to mother hug.

      Reply
  • Sarah
    April 19, 2021 at 12:48 pm

    I adopted my son in 2010, and he was almost 7. I am a single mom. He had a terrible beginning to his life, so he was always a little self-sufficient, a little independent. That being said, I sometimes feel as though I am a little emotionally dependent on him.
    Covid came and he wanted to see his “partner” (is the best way to describe the person he was with, she is transgender) on a regular basis. I being a protective mom declined to allow them together, as I didn’t know Logan, didnt know the type of person he was, who he hung out with, etc. In June my son one day announced he was moving out (he was 18) and didnt come home from work. NO warning, nothing. I have dealt with this till a little after Christmas when he announced that he’d broken up w/Logan. I saw my son in November when I took him out to dinner. First time since July when he came home, yelled at me and re-disappeared.
    He’s living about a half hour away from me. He has “deemed” we need counseling , and yet has “no time” for it. He constantly says he’s thinking of moving home, and yet doesn’t.

    For a long time, I was in a constant state of turmoil. Now I’ve made peace w/the things he said bothered him about his childhood. And yet I truly miss him! Its the days he again says, No Ma, I’m not moving home, it’s best if I don’t that hurts me the most. I’ve decided I need to stop waiting on him! I need to straighten out my thoughts, house, and figure out my life. I can’t be kept a hostage of the “well maybe” thoughts of a almost 20 year old “child”!

    Reply
  • Diana
    September 18, 2020 at 8:03 am

    This is great. I needed this, too. My youngest is moving out in 2 weeks. He just told me a few days ago. He’ll be in town, thankfully. My husband passed, so I’m single, so I’ll have the place to myself. It’s exciting, yet my emotions are all over the place. I know I’ll be fine. I’m excited for my son and for myself. I’m ready to date again, but with Covid, that will be different. I’m going to do everything to keep busy, and I want to meet, and be around, other people.

    Reply
    • Jane
      September 18, 2020 at 1:47 pm

      Hi Diana, thanks so much for your comment. I love your positive attitude–staying busy and trusting that you’ll be fine are both so important! Hopefully things will start getting back to normal soon so we can get out and start socializing again. I wish you all the best! xo Jane

      Reply
  • Ruby A Yakalavich
    August 13, 2020 at 2:13 pm

    Hi Jane,
    Thank you so much for this blog. My oldest child whom I am so close to, moved 14 hours away. I am so sad. My heart aches for his presence. I know I can’t keep him forever but I always dreamt of having my grown kids and future grandchildren close to me. I still pray he ends up closer in distance. I love him so. When my daughter leaves for college next year, I’m going to feel the same way. I’m praying it gets easier. I’m trying to be open minded and see it as I’ve done a great job as a mother but it hurts to let them go. Thanks again for the ideas.

    Reply
    • Jane
      August 14, 2020 at 10:39 am

      Hi Ruby, I appreciate your thoughtful comment so much! I can relate to your feelings of sadness and heartache — for six years our younger daughter lived several hours away from us. Recently, she and her husband moved nearby, and our relationship is closer than ever. Even though those years were difficult, I realize now they were an important time of growth for both of us. Please know that it will get easier and you’ll be able to look back and see the gifts of this time. xo Jane

      Reply
  • Lynne Thompson
    February 6, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    I read several sites about empty nest but yours was the best, most assuring and lovingly positive. Such good ideas –thank you for being so supportive and giving such helpful advice!

    Reply
    • Jane
      February 7, 2020 at 4:15 pm

      Lynne, thank you so much for your lovely comment and kind words. I’m so happy you enjoyed the post and found it helpful! xo Jane

      Reply
  • Maesa Shiqwara
    November 5, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    It’s hard to do what you mention I try some of it but still missing the family moments , I try to make my self busy with what I like but every time I look around I feel like I need to be with my kids again.

    Reply
    • Jane
      November 8, 2019 at 8:01 am

      Hi Maesa, I understand how you feel. I hope it helps to know that with time those feelings will dissipate and you’ll begin to find joy, freedom, and reasons to feel content in this new time of life. Sending love. xo jane

      Reply
  • Kathleen Brook
    September 23, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks for taking the time to write these suggestions. I have been missing my four kids so much. We became empty nesters and we moved 13 hours away from our kids, then had all kinds of health issues, and lost a beloved nephew all at the same time. Yikes, it’’s been hard to find myself. Especially after leaving a community of friend of 18 years. But I must say, even after going through a rough time in our marriage, and all the doctors visits, God is faithful and loves us. Thankful for knowing God has a plan for us and for our kids. The big picture is in his hands. I cry a lot for missing my amazing crew, it just makes me plan a lot for our next gathering. I find myself wondering what I like. I was always looking for what the kids liked. So it is stretching me to figure out what is really important in this life. It certainly puts things in perspective. Time with the Lord daily has given me strength and confidence. A book called Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children as been SO HELPFUL and a BLESSING!
    I am in remission now and feeling great! Praise God for his faithfulness! He Alone is what we need! God bless you all in your journey toward HIm.

    Reply
    • Jane
      November 8, 2019 at 8:15 am

      Hi Kathleen, Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I love your positive attitude, despite having gone through so much! So happy to hear you are in remission and feeling great. Planning ahead for your next gathering is a wonderful way to move your focus from the past to the future. I also think you touched on a key point by mentioning your daily quiet time–listening for God’s leading is such an important facet to all of this. I’ll have to check out the book you mentioned. Thank you again for your words of encouragement and hope for others. xo jane

      Reply
  • nicole
    August 15, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    Great list! I’ll be an empty nester in a few years and I am so grateful God prepares us slowly as our kids gain more and more independence before the fly the coup. Still……..

    I appreciate that you don’t underestimate God in the healing and moving on process. So gratefeul He continues to perfect His good work and us and continues to mold us to His purpose in those who love Him. He is not done with us yet. ….Nikki

    Reply
  • Claudia
    July 11, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    I am totally lost. My son (who lives 2 blocks down the street) has not spoken to me in 3 years (claims it’s my fault but won’t tell me what I said so I can try to salvage anything that may be left), he has 2 children a daughter she will be 3 yr. old (which I’ve seen briefly) and a son whom I’ve never seen. This is very heart wrenching for me he just turned 1 yr. old; I also have a daughter under him (she lives 6 blocks away) who has a 6 yr. old who is in school and I see often, but it seems my daughter would prefer to spend time with his family than her own. My youngest daughter has graduated in 2017 moved out that September and has moved around since then. She is looking for a house that is nice and not to far from us; but not for the lack of me trying to get her to move a little further away but she is like her father, likes to stay right where he put down roots (I need a backhoe to move him). My problem with the girls is there is no communication at all and if I try to call or talk to them they make me feel awful for having disturbed them. Like all mother’s I’m sure; all I want is a good relationship with my children. I have been praying on my son since this incident happened (God works on his time not ours). My daughters a CNA’S and work hard so spending down time is good for them but it would be nice to get a phone call once in a while. They make time to spend with each other but never once include me; and I know that they have done this because they will tell me what they did while they were out together Is it too much for me to expect to be included in my children’s life? I really have no idea how to balance my life and be a (plain old) women. I have been a mother, a companion to my husband and had many other roles that as a wife and mother have. HOW DO I BE JUST ME? HOW DO I FIND ME? I don’t mean to sound pathetic but this is what I’m going through. Any thoughts?

    Reply
    • Jane
      August 8, 2019 at 5:08 pm

      Oh, Claudia, I’m so sorry to hear this! Please know you’re not alone. I hope one of the suggestions here will help. If not, perhaps talking to a trusted friend will help you through this time of huge transition. Sending much love your way. xo jane

      Reply
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