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How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home

I don’t know about you, but seeing the return of back-to-school supplies in stores always makes me feel reflective.  This time of year brings back memories of dropping our youngest off at college and the tearful ride back home, knowing I was leaving behind not just our daughter but a time of life I loved so much. And while I’m not wild about the term empty nest, it’s a pretty good description of what our home felt like for the next several months.

That was over ten years ago.  And, honestly, those feelings of sadness and loss–sometimes called empty nest syndrome–still come up now and then, especially after a holiday or family event when everyone gathers and then leaves again.

The best advice I have for friends whose kids are leaving home is to just let yourself feel all the feelings. Shed your tears for the end of this chapter. 

You need to respect and cherish your life’s seasons.  But be careful not to let yourself get stuck there.  At some point you have to allow the next chapter to begin.

How to thrive with an empty nest - what to do after the kids leave home

Believe it or not, eventually you’ll find things to love and appreciate about an empty nest.  In the past few years, my life has blossomed in ways I never imagined.

And apparently I’m not alone, because research shows that women over 50 are among the happiest and most content!

If you’re currently in the middle of it all, wondering what’s next as an empty nester and how long these feelings will last, let me encourage you–there is life after your children leave home!

While becoming an empty nester is a life-changing experience, it doesn’t have to throw you off track. 

There’s so much happiness in store for you!  That’s why I wrote this post–to encourage you to focus on what’s next.  God loves us too much to let us stay where we are.  He’s always nudging us forward and working things out for our highest good.

If you stay open, this stage of life can be an amazing time of growth and new possibilities.  This is your opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh.

Now is the time to rediscover all the activities you set aside while you were raising your kids.  Can you remember what they were? After our girls left home, I had a hard time recalling what I enjoyed doing before we had children!

To help you get started, I made a list of things to do after the kids leave home.  These are the things that helped me move past heartache and find joy and purpose as an empty nester.

I realize many of these ideas might seem obvious, but when you’re in the middle of it all, sometimes you can’t think of anything productive or positive to do, so I hope this list opens your mind and heart to some of the possibilities available to you after your kids leave home. 

How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home

1.  Volunteer

I can’t think of a better way to move past heartache than by reaching out and helping others who are in need, whether it’s an elderly person who could use some groceries or company, a neighbor who’s going through a hard time, or a teacher who needs an extra pair of hands in the classroom.

2.  Travel

An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to start planning trips to places you’ve always wanted to see.  I’ve found that planning and looking forward to a getaway is almost as much fun as the actual trip! 

After becoming empty nesters, my husband and I traveled to Paris and Italy for 10 days — something we’d talked and dreamed about for years.  It ended up being one of the highlights of our lives, and we hope to return soon!

3. Expand your culinary skills

This is the perfect time to broaden your home cooking or baking skills, try out new recipes, and discover new cuisines.  Now you can use all those ingredients your kids didn’t like!  Here’s a page sharing a few of my favorite recipes.

4.  Declutter your spaces

I’ve found that having too much stuff–even if it’s hidden behind a closet door–affects my energy and creativity. Decluttering our home every few months helps clear out the mental cobwebs and gives me a new outlook on life.  

If you need some encouragement and motivation to declutter and get organized, here’s my post sharing How to Declutter Your Home.

5. Get creative

An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to explore or rekindle a love of hobbies like painting, calligraphy, knitting, pottery making, woodworking, sewing, cross-stitch … the possibilities are endless!  

Almost everyone I know (myself included!) would like to improve their photography and photo editing skills, whether that involves learning how to use all the features on their iPhone or mastering the fancy digital camera gathering dust in a closet. 

There are hundreds of online courses available through sites like Teachable, as well as local college classes, and free tutorials on YouTube sharing tips on whatever creative outlet you choose.

6. Put pen to paper

Have you ever dreamed of becoming an author?  Now’s the time to start writing!  You never know who is waiting to hear what you have to say. 

7. Start a blog

Blogging is another great way to connect with others and share your ideas, experience, and creativity.  It’s also a wonderful incentive to learn new things!

8. Plant a garden

There’s something about getting your hands in the dirt, nurturing plants, and seeing them thrive that is so satisfying!  

On the same note, having potted plants and flowers indoors and on your porch and patio can bring new life to your home.  

Orchids are a favorite of mine — I love the touch of elegance they bring to any space.  Here’s a post I wrote on How to Get Orchids to Bloom Again.

9. Turn your hobby into a business

After becoming an empty nester, I took my love of interior design, writing, cooking, health, and travel and poured it into a blog and business.  I think this one step, more than anything else on this list, helped me find a new sense of purpose as an empty nester.

10. Take time for self care and relaxation

Now’s your chance to enjoy some downtime, spend time sitting in the garden, appreciate the sunrise or sunset, and take long baths (without kids banging on the bathroom door!). 

Or, you might want to catch up on some of the binge-worthy TV series everyone’s talking about.  Escape to the Chateau, The Crown, The Queen’s Gambit, The Great British Baking Show, and The Newsroom are some of our favorites. 

11. Focus on your health

My emotions were up and down as I adjusted to life as an empty nester (menopause didn’t help either!), but this book helped me balance my moods.  At this time of life, it’s also a great idea to see your doctor or naturopath to make sure your diet and hormone levels are in balance.

12. Be a grateful empty nester

I’ve noticed I’m happiest when I focus on what’s going well in my life, rather than what’s not, so every day I try to write down — or at least think of  — several things for which I’m grateful.  

13. Invite someone over for dinner

Gathering people around the dinner table is one of my favorite things to do–especially now that we have an empty nest.  If you’re a little rusty in the hosting department and need some tips, I wrote a post on how to host a casual dinner party, including menu ideas.

14. Connect with other empty nesters on social media

I’ve met some of the nicest women in the home décor community over on Instagram, but you might prefer YouTube, Facebook, or Pinterest. 

15. Stay positive

During the day, as I’m cooking or doing things around the house, I pop in my AirPods and listen to motivational podcasts or YouTube videos.  And at night, I always read something positive before I fall asleep.  

In addition, no matter how busy I get, I try to meditate for a few minutes every day.  Even though I often just sit there and think about my to-do list, I know meditating makes me a happier person overall. 

Spending less time on social media and avoiding the news were also big game-changers for me!

16. Learn a new language

My husband and love watching Escape to the Chateau (on Peacock).  All the beautiful scenes of the French countryside have us dreaming of making a return trip to France.

So when our younger daughter told me about a free language-learning app called Duolingo, I downloaded it on my phone and started taking French lessons.

Now, instead of scrolling through social media in the evening, I spend a few minutes learning something new! 

17. Get moving

This is a great time to begin taking daily walks or hikes, add some strength training to your routine, take tennis or golf lessons, join a gym, or get some exercise DVDs from Amazon and work out at home. 

I like to begin my day with some gentle yoga.  It only takes a few minutes, but I think it helps keep my body and mind flexible.

18. Switch up your beauty routine

I know it might sound superficial, but a change in your makeup, hair style, or hair color can go a long way in improving your outlook on life. Just getting my roots touched up makes me feel like an entirely new person! 

19. Update your wardrobe

Refreshing your sense of style can help you see yourself in a new light and, in turn, help you approach the world in a more confident way. 

One of these days, I’d love to pare down my closet and put together a high-quality capsule wardrobe for each season.  I’m sure it would make getting dressed in the morning much easier!

20.  Become tech savvy

Have you always wanted to learn how to use Photoshop, PowerPoint, Canva, or Excel?  Now’s the perfect time to master the latest apps, programs, and gadgets–your kids will be so impressed!

21. Refresh your spaces

I’ve always loved poring over home catalogs and magazines for design inspiration, but once I became an empty nester, interior design and decorating became my passion. 

I’ve found that simply moving the furniture around or adding some fresh flowers or different pillows to a space can lift my spirits and give me a new outlook on life. 

If you’re interested in updating your home, here’s a page sharing my decorating and design posts.  

22. Build a new relationship with your kids

When my daughters were teenagers, we talked about everything, shared our daily ups and downs, and went shopping together, so when they left home I felt like I’d lost my best friends! 

But soon I discovered that one of the most wonderful things about being an empty nester is getting to know my kids as adults (and now parents themselves).

Now we get together for coffee, plan family vacations — and still go shopping together!  Even though our relationship is different, it’s still rich and wonderful.

23. Strengthen your marriage

If you relegated your marriage to the back burner while you focused on your kids, an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and remember why you fell in love in the first place. 

This is a great time to explore new activities and hobbies as a couple.  Soon after our youngest left home, my husband and I took ballroom dancing lessons at the local community college, which gave us an opportunity to connect in a whole new way.

24. Continue your education

This is also a great time to take some online classes, finish your degree, or pursue a brand new profession.

Even though I have a business degree, I also love learning about natural wellness, so after our girls left home I went to nutrition school and received my health coach certification!

25. Nurture your friendships

It’s so easy to neglect friendships while we’re busy raising our kids, but an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your friends. And one of the many benefits of being an empty nester is you can now enjoy long conversations without interruption!

26. Meet with a financial advisor

It’s always a good idea to connect with a financial expert about your future plans to make sure you’ll have enough money to retire when the time comes. 

And, whether you’re married or single, if you don’t have a current will, this is also a great time to see an estate attorney and get that done, too.  

27. Spend some time with little ones

There are many ways to spend time with children after your kids leave home, including volunteering at schools, reading to toddlers at the library, or teaching Sunday School — which is how my husband and I stayed involved with little ones after our girls grew up.

28. Connect with extended family

After your children leave home, getting together with your parents and siblings is a great way to fill the need for connection.  And, if your family is spread out across the country or world, you might even want to plan a reunion!

29. Adopt a pet

Pet adoption, fostering, and animal rescue are great ways to fill an empty nest — and when it comes to animals, you always end up receiving much more love than you give!

30.  Join a club

If you enjoy socializing, you might want to think about joining a book club, garden club, bridge club, wine club, church group, or civic organization. 

Clubs are a great way to make new friends, explore an interest or hobby, learn something new, and alleviate the loneliness and boredom that can come with being an empty nester. 

31.  Plan an outing

Now that your kids have flown the nest, this is a great time to start going on dates, visiting new restaurants, going to shows, and checking out the latest museum exhibits. 

Whether you’re married or single, getting out of the house and doing new things — even if you go by yourself — is a great way to keep from getting stuck in a rut.

32.  Take a road trip

Are there places you’ve always wanted to visit?  An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to load up the car and take a road trip, visit national parks, and see different parts of the country.

33. Lose yourself in a good book

Finally, this is your chance to read all those books that have been sitting on your nightstand for years! Reading has the ability to carry us away, inspire, and change our outlook on life.  

Lately, I’m into non-fiction, but when I want to immerse myself in another world, here’s a charming book series I love.

Final thoughts on empty nesting

Whether you’re a new, seasoned, or soon-to-be empty nester, I hope this list gave you some encouragement and ideas of activities to do after your kids leave home.

This is your chance to start fresh and give yourself all the good books, great food, long walks, special trips, and happy memories you deserve. Wishing you much joy and love on your journey! xo Jane

P.S. If your feelings of sadness, grief, and other symptoms of empty nest syndrome are severe and/or last more than a few weeks, please seek out professional help. 

Looking for more ideas and inspiration?  Here are a few favorite posts from the blog:

How to Add a Touch of Nancy Meyers Style to Your Kitchen and Home

2023 Home Decor Trends and Design Styles You Will Love

How to Choose a Design Style that Feels Right for You

Modern Coastal Decorating Ideas for Your Home

What is Coastal Grandmother Style? (and why I love it!)

California Casual Interior Design: How to Bring West Coast Style to Your Home

A Simple Guide to Mixing Metals in the Bathroom

Inspiring Kitchen Design Ideas for Your Next Renovation

The New Studio McGee Target Collection

Modern Bedroom Design Ideas for a Dreamy Master Suite

Modern Entryway Ideas for a Beautiful First Impression

Beautiful Living Room Decorating Ideas

Modern Dining Room Ideas for Beautiful Gatherings

Modern Patio Ideas for Beautiful Outdoor Living

 

93 Comments

  • Melanie Renshaw
    November 27, 2023 at 4:49 pm

    My oldest daughter has left home and my youngest has a couple of years left at home with us. Time goes by so fast and I know I’m going to be devastated when both my girls have left home. I’m trying to prepare a couple of years in advance so it doesn’t destroy me. Thanks for your article. 🙂

    Reply
    • Jane
      November 28, 2023 at 4:54 pm

      Dear Melanie, thank you so much for sharing, as I know many others can relate to what you’re going through. I think it’s a great idea to prepare in advance, and I hope when the time comes for your younger daughter to leave home you find the transition much easier than expected. xo Jane

      Reply
  • Anna
    April 29, 2023 at 9:28 pm

    Jane
    I just came across this post and wanted to say Thank you! I am finding this new phase where my girls are more independent very very difficult. This post was so to the point and gave so many easy and enjoyable things to do rather than the usual- make new friends, develop new hobbies etc which is far to overwhelming right now. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Jane
      April 30, 2023 at 8:02 am

      Dear Anna, Thank you so much for your lovely comment and kind words! I’m so happy to hear you found this post helpful, and I wish you all the best as you move through this new phase in your life. Please know it will get easier with time! xo Jane

      Reply
  • Alyce
    July 1, 2022 at 8:23 pm

    Hi Jane,
    Thank you for this post. It is full of wonderful ideas that I plan to share with my friends who are adjusting to this new phase of life. I love your positive attitude and joyful outlook. Blessings to you and your family!

    Reply
    • Jane
      July 2, 2022 at 7:12 am

      Hi Alyce! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I’m so happy to hear you found some helpful ideas in my post! Even now, after several years of being an empty nester I’m still learning and growing and making adjustments–which is all good. I wish you and your friends all my best as you navigate this new phase of life! Blessings to you and yours, my friend. xo Jane

      Reply
  • Victoria
    March 31, 2022 at 9:40 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. I have struggled the past few weeks as my younger son moved out four days after my beloved sister-in-law passed away, and after several other deaths in the family this year. I do have an older child with Asperger’s syndrome at home; so I have one foot in each camp. Having my neurotypical child move out first helped me to realize how much he helped modulate some of my experiences with my older son, who is very sweet but with many challenges. While the move has brought us closer, and he lives only 2 minutes away, I am aware that I cannot ‘hover’ too much – he needs to do the work of separating as do I; I feel foolish for not anticipating/realizing how painful this would be. He was a rebellious and difficult at times, so I thought his reaching this milestone would be a relief and source of pride – instead walking past his empty room stabs my heart. With retirement approaching in six months, this seems like the ideal time to do so many of the things you have outlined – writing, looking into obtaining a personal trainer certification and more. It’s just slow going with up days and down days; given how busy I am now as a health professional, I fear feeling lost and useless – no longer a mom in the ways I have been for 30 years and no longer a busy public health official. Thank you for providing such a nice framework. Your suggestions were reassuring as intuitively it seemed that while I had to honor these feelings I also had to develop new activities/hobbies/skills to avoid stagnating self-pity.

    Reply
    • Jane
      April 2, 2022 at 4:58 pm

      Dear Victoria, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I love your positive attitude, despite having gone through so much recently. You’re definitely not alone in your feelings, and I think it helps to know others understand what you’re going through. This time of life brings so many changes, and sometimes it’s hard to know where to begin. I’m so thankful you found some reassurance and ideas here. Please know it does get easier with time. I wish you all my best! xo Jane

      Reply
  • Anonymous
    March 8, 2022 at 5:51 pm

    You said every parent experiences the empty nest. However this is not true for parents who have children with special needs. I have a son with autism who launched successfully. This is after complete total involvement on my part. It’s is my identity to be the parent of a son with autism,. I am experiencing my own empty nest, but the mothers in my circle, who have children like mine, many of them will never experience their empty nest. Friends and family who have typically developing children, do not understand and support me. Friends a with autistic children are jealous, and shame me for my concerns. I am truly without a tribe. It is not an enviable position. I appreciate your blog and will try to put these suggestions into practice. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Jane
      March 9, 2022 at 8:26 am

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I hadn’t considered this perspective and so appreciate you bringing this aspect of empty nesting to light. I’m sure many others will benefit from reading your thoughtful comment. Wishing you all my best, xo Jane

      Reply
  • Fabiola
    February 9, 2022 at 4:02 pm

    Thank you so much for creating this post, it gives me hope and I feel less alone in this hearing the similar stories and feelings we experience as empty nesters. I have three daughters and the two oldest are already gone off to college then married and I’ve been keeping comfort through my third one but she is now about to leave on a mission for our church for a year and a half and I’m well aware that once she gets back it won’t be for long before she leaves for good as well. It’s hit me with each one, but I think this might be hardest because we’ll be empty nesters once she leaves. I understand this is how life is supposed to go but it is very hard I’m sure for some more than others and I definitely feeling lots of pain and sadness although I’m happy for them.
    Thank you for sharing hope, I will hold on to it that there is happiness after this and your ideas also help with that so much.
    I wish everyone who is going through this that can they can heal and be happy in their next chapter. My love to all!

    Reply
    • Jane
      February 10, 2022 at 4:11 pm

      Fabiola, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and supportive words for others. I’m so glad you found some hope and encouragement here! I know your experience will resonate with and uplift others who are feeling the same way. Sending loving thoughts, xo Jane

      Reply
  • claudia
    January 17, 2022 at 11:48 am

    I’m glad I came across to this. My only child left to the Army July 2021. He completed his basic training and now is doing his advanced individual training. I was blessed that he came home for Christmas but soon after he left, the emotions came back. I’m a single parent (his only parent). So for 18 years it has been always him and I along with my parents. it’s taking me some time to adjust and I’m hoping these 30 tips you’ve listed can help me or at least get me started. I have my son’s yorkie terrier and she definitely helps but I can also tell that she feels his absence. so I do my best to keep her busy with me. I guess we both help one another. anyhow, thank you for this blog and i’ll keep on reading more of posts.

    Reply
    • Jane
      January 18, 2022 at 8:50 am

      Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience, Claudia. I’m sure it’s a huge adjustment when you’re a single mom and your only child leaves the nest. But please know you’re not alone–there are many others here supporting you and sending good thoughts, and you will get through it! I’m so glad to hear you have your son’s sweet yorkie with you and that you’re helping each other–animals are such a comfort! Sending love and hugs, xo Jane

      Reply
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