I don’t know about you, but seeing the return of back-to-school supplies in stores always makes me feel reflective. This time of year brings back memories of dropping our youngest off at college and the tearful ride back home, knowing I was leaving behind not just our daughter but a time of life I loved so much. And while I’m not wild about the term empty nest, it’s a pretty good description of what our home felt like for the next several months.
That was over ten years ago. And, honestly, those feelings of sadness and loss–sometimes called empty nest syndrome–still come up now and then, especially after a holiday or family event when everyone gathers and then leaves again.
The best advice I have for friends whose kids are leaving home is to just let yourself feel all the feelings. Shed your tears for the end of this chapter.
You need to respect and cherish your life’s seasons. But be careful not to let yourself get stuck there. At some point, you have to let the next chapter begin.
Believe it or not, eventually you’ll find things to love and appreciate about an empty nest. In the past few years, my life has blossomed in ways I never could have imagined.
And apparently I’m not alone, because research shows that women over 50 are among the happiest and most content!
If you’re currently in the middle of it all, wondering what’s next as an empty nester and how long these feelings will last, let me encourage you–there is life after your children leave home!
While becoming an empty nester is a life-changing experience, it doesn’t have to throw you off track.
There’s so much happiness in store for you! That’s why I wrote this post–to encourage you to focus on what’s next. God loves us too much to let us stay where we are. He’s always nudging us forward and working things out for our highest good.
If you stay open, this stage of life can be an amazing time of growth and new possibilities. This is your opportunity to reinvent yourself and start fresh.
Now is the time to rediscover all the activities you set aside while you were raising your kids. Can you remember what they were? After our girls left home, I had a hard time recalling what I enjoyed doing before we had children!
To help you get started, I made a list of things to do after the kids leave home. These are the things that helped me move past heartache and find joy and purpose as an empty nester.
I realize many of these ideas might seem obvious, but when you’re in the middle of it all, sometimes you can’t think of anything productive or positive to do, so I hope this list opens your mind and heart to some of the possibilities available to you after your kids leave home.
How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home
1. Volunteer
I can’t think of a better way to move past heartache than by reaching out and helping others who are in need, whether it’s an elderly person who could use some groceries or company, a neighbor who’s going through a hard time, or a teacher who needs an extra pair of hands in the classroom.
2. Travel
An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to start planning trips to places you’ve always wanted to see. I’ve found that planning and looking forward to a getaway is almost as much fun as the actual trip!
After becoming empty nesters, my husband and I traveled to Paris and Italy for 10 days — something we’d talked and dreamed about for years. It ended up being one of the highlights of our lives, and we hope to return soon!
3. Expand your culinary skills
This is the perfect time to broaden your home cooking or baking skills, try out new recipes, and discover new cuisines. Now you can use all those ingredients your kids didn’t like!
My Kitchen Counter Stool Review
4. Declutter your spaces
I’ve found that having too much stuff – even if it’s hidden behind a closet door – affects my energy and creativity.
Decluttering our closets and kitchen every few months helps clear out the mental cobwebs and gives me a whole new outlook on life!
5. Get creative
An empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to explore or rekindle a love of hobbies like painting, calligraphy, knitting, pottery making, woodworking, sewing, cross-stitch … the possibilities are endless!
Almost everyone I know (myself included!) would like to improve their photography and photo editing skills, whether that involves learning how to use all the features on their iPhone or mastering the fancy digital camera gathering dust in a closet.
There are hundreds of online courses available through sites like Teachable, as well as local college classes, and free tutorials on YouTube sharing tips on whatever creative outlet you choose.
6. Put pen to paper
Have you ever dreamed of becoming an author? Now’s the time to start writing! You never know who is waiting to hear what you have to say.
7. Start a blog
Blogging is another great way to connect with others and share your ideas, experience, and creativity. It’s also a wonderful incentive to learn new things!
8. Plant a garden
There’s something about getting your hands in the dirt, nurturing plants, and seeing them thrive that is so satisfying!
On the same note, having potted plants and flowers indoors and on your porch and patio can bring new life to your home.
9. Turn your hobby into a business
After becoming an empty nester, I took my love of interior design, writing, cooking, health, and travel and poured it into a blog and business.
I think this one step, more than anything else on this list, helped me find a new sense of purpose as an empty nester.
10. Take time for self care and relaxation
Now’s your chance to enjoy some downtime, spend time sitting in the garden, appreciate the sunrise or sunset, and take long baths (without kids banging on the bathroom door!).
Our Master Bathroom Renovation
Or, you might want to catch up on some of the binge-worthy TV series everyone’s talking about. Palm Royale, Escape to the Chateau, The Crown, The Queen’s Gambit, The Great British Baking Show, All Creatures Great and Small, The Newsroom — and of course, Friends — are a few of our favorites.
11. Focus on your health
My emotions were all over the place as I adjusted to life as an empty nester (menopause didn’t help either!), but this book helped me balance my moods.
At this time of life, it’s also a great idea to see your doctor or naturopath to make sure your diet and hormone levels are in balance.
12. Be grateful
I’ve noticed I’m happiest when I focus on what’s going well in my life, rather than what’s not, so every day I try to write down — or at least think of — several things for which I’m grateful.
13. Invite someone over for dinner
Gathering people around the dinner table is one of my favorite things to do — especially now that I’m an empty nester.
If you’re a little rusty in the hosting department and need some tips, I wrote a post on how to host a casual dinner party, including menu ideas.
14. Connect with other empty nesters on social media
I’ve met some of the nicest women in the home décor community over on Instagram, but you might prefer YouTube, Facebook, or Pinterest.
15. Master your mindset
To keep negative thoughts from railroading my day, as I’m cooking or doing things around the house, I like to pop in my AirPods and listen to motivational podcasts or YouTube videos. And at night, I always read something positive before I fall asleep.
In addition, no matter how busy I get, I try to meditate for a few minutes every day. Even though I often just sit there and think about my to-do list, I know meditating makes me a happier, calmer person.
Spending less time on social media and avoiding the news were also huge game-changers for me!
16. Learn a new language
My husband and love watching Escape to the Chateau (on Peacock). The beautiful scenes of the French countryside make us want to buy a castle and retire in Provence.
So when our younger daughter told me about a free language-learning app called Duolingo, I downloaded it on my phone and started taking French lessons.
Now, instead of scrolling through social media in the evening, I spend a few minutes learning a new language. Tres bien!
17. Get moving
An empty nest provides more time to take walks or hikes, add some strength training to your routine, take tennis or golf lessons, join a gym, or work out at home.
I like to begin each day with some gentle yoga. It only takes a few minutes, but it helps keep my body and mind flexible and balanced.
18. Switch up your beauty routine
I know it sounds superficial, but a change in your makeup, hair style, or hair color can go a long way in improving your outlook on life. Just getting my roots touched up makes me feel like a new person!
19. Update your wardrobe
Refreshing your sense of style can help you see yourself in a new light and, in turn, help you approach the world in a more confident way.
One of these days, I’d love to pare down my closet and put together a high-quality capsule wardrobe for each season. I’m sure it would make getting dressed in the morning much easier!
20. Become tech savvy
Have you always wanted to learn how to use Photoshop, PowerPoint, Canva, or Excel? Now’s the perfect time to master the latest apps, programs, and gadgets–your kids will be so impressed!
21. Refresh your spaces
I’ve always loved poring over home catalogs and magazines for design inspiration, but once I began empty nesting, interior design and decorating became my passion.
I’ve found that simply moving the furniture around or adding some fresh flowers or different pillows to a space can lift my spirits and give me a new outlook on life.
If you’re interested in updating your home, here’s a page sharing my decorating and design posts.
22. Forge a closer relationship with your kids
When my daughters were teenagers, we talked about everything, shared our daily ups and downs, and went shopping together, so when they left home I felt like I’d lost my best friends!
But soon I discovered that one of the most wonderful things about empty nesting is getting to know my kids as adults.
Now we get together for coffee, plan family vacations — and still go shopping together! Even though our relationship is different, it’s still rich and wonderful.
23. Strengthen your marriage
If you relegated your marriage to the back burner while you focused on your kids (I know I did), an empty nest provides the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
This is a great time to explore new activities and hobbies as a couple. Soon after our younger daughter left home, my husband and I took ballroom dancing lessons at the local community college, which gave us time to connect in a whole new way. We had a lot of fun — and since we aren’t the greatest dancers, we also laughed a lot!
24. Continue your education
The empty nest years are a great time to take some online classes, finish your degree, or pursue a brand new profession.
Even though I have a business degree, I also love learning about natural wellness, so after our girls left home I went to nutrition school and received my health coaching certification.
25. Nurture your friendships
It’s so easy to neglect our friendships while we’re busy raising kids, but an empty nest provides a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with old friends.
I’ve found that one of the many benefits empty nesting is you can now enjoy long conversations without being interrupted!
26. Meet with a financial advisor
It’s always a good idea to connect with a financial expert about your future plans to make sure you’ll have enough money to retire when the time comes.
And, whether you’re married or single, if you don’t have a current will, this is also a great time to see an estate attorney and get that done, too.
27. Spend some time with little ones
There are many ways to spend time with children after your kids leave home, including volunteering at schools, reading to toddlers at the library, or teaching Sunday School — which, for a few years, is how my husband and I stayed involved with little ones when our girls were teens.
28. Connect with extended family
After your children leave home, getting together with your parents and siblings is a great way to fill the need for connection.
And, if your family is spread out across the country or world, you might even want to plan a reunion!
29. Adopt a pet
Pet adoption, fostering, and animal rescue are great ways to fill an empty nest — and when it comes to animals, you always end up receiving much more love than you give!
After our English bulldog passed away two years ago, we were so heartbroken we thought we’d never adopt another pet. But little Finnley (a mini golden doodle) made his way to us last summer, and I can’t begin to tell you how much joy he’s brought to our home and lives!
30. Join a club
If you enjoy socializing, you might want to think about joining a book club, garden club, bridge club, wine club, church group, or civic organization.
Clubs are a great way to make new friends, explore an interest or hobby, learn something new, and alleviate the loneliness and boredom that can come with being an empty nester.
31. Go on a date
Now that your kids have flown the nest, this is a great time to start going on dates, visiting new restaurants, going to the beach, to shows, and checking out the latest museum exhibits.
Whether you’re married or single, getting out of the house and doing new things — even if you go by yourself — is a great way to keep from getting stuck in a rut.
32. Take a road trip
Are there places in the country you’ve always wanted to visit? Empty nesting provides the perfect opportunity to take an extended road trip, visit national parks, and check a few places off your bucket list.
33. Lose yourself in a good book
Finally, this is your chance to read all those books that have been sitting on your nightstand for years!
Reading has the ability to carry me away, inspire, and change my outlook on life.
Lately, I’m into non-fiction, but when I want to immerse myself in another world, here’s a charming book series I love.
Whether you’re a new, seasoned, or soon-to-be empty nester, I hope this list gave you some encouragement and ideas of activities to do after your kids leave home.
This is your chance to start fresh and give yourself all the good books, great food, long walks, special trips, and happy memories you deserve. Wishing you much joy on your journey! xo Jane
P.S. If your feelings of sadness, grief, and other symptoms of empty nest syndrome are severe and/or last more than a few weeks, please seek out professional help.
Looking for more ideas and inspiration? Here are a few favorite posts from Jane at Home:
Nancy Meyers Style: How to Bring the Look to Your Kitchen and Home
2024 Home Decor Trends and Design Styles You Will Love
How to Choose a Design Style that Feels Right for You
Modern Coastal Decorating Ideas for Your Home
What is Coastal Grandmother Style? (and why I love it!)
California Casual Interior Design: How to Bring Chic West Coast Style to Your Home
A Simple Guide to Mixing Metals in the Bathroom
Inspiring Kitchen Design Ideas for Your Next Renovation
The New Studio McGee Target Collection
Modern Bedroom Design Ideas for a Dreamy Master Suite
Modern Entryway Ideas for a Beautiful First Impression
Beautiful Living Room Decorating Ideas
Modern Dining Room Ideas for Beautiful Gatherings
Modern Patio Ideas for Beautiful Outdoor Living
93 Comments
Jan Zeldes
July 4, 2018 at 8:59 amJane, thank you so much for this blog. I actuallu feel a bit better, and reading everyones comments really expresses my fears in words I couldn’t find. Thank you everyone. My oldest is engaged, she and her fiance live with us. They decided to move out the same week we are taking our other daughter to college. I am devastated. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I ofter cannot do a thing. I wait for them to come home and listen to all their stories. I will have to reinvest myself with my limitations. I like the blog idea. Any advise on how to get started?
Jane
July 8, 2018 at 10:58 amThank you so much for your comment Jan. I’m glad to hear you feel a bit better after reading the comments. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone. I created a post about starting a blog–you can find it through doing a search for “blogging” or by clicking the link in the sidebar! xo jane
Anonymous
July 4, 2018 at 12:13 amThis just makes me cry. I am by myself I no longer have a home (taken by my ex who waltzed off saying I was past my used by date). I am in a situation where i care for my mum & am feeling very stuck while my ex uses $$ and convenience of now bothering with his his kids on the proviso that they love his new wife . They are all away in the city he is in, with study & it is hard to cope.
I am sad and no use to them
My ex said life would be alot easier if i were dead.. .
Jane
July 8, 2018 at 11:01 amI’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you’ll find comfort in knowing others care — do you have family or friends you can reach out to for support? Sending loving thoughts — xo jane
Anna
September 16, 2018 at 4:37 pmAnonymous, hold your head high, turn your situation over to God, and hang tight. Even though it may not seem like it, we all go through valleys and challenges. Difficult as it may be, think of this as a learning experience and growth opportunity. Don’t let your ex’s selfish attitude taint your thinking, because the only person’s life who would be easier with your absence is his and he’s obviously not worth it!! Try doing a good deed every day, even if it’s nothing more than a kind word to someone. Your situation will improve with time, but it will require effort and a positive attitude. Also, I’m guessing your kids care more about you than you think. Hugs!
E.
January 9, 2019 at 9:05 amYou probably won’t ever see this comment, Anonymous, but someone in your situation will. You do have a home – a temporary one – caring for the person who cared for you when you were small. She needs you. You’re doing such an honorable and loving thing caring for your mother. Imagine how meaningful and important this is in the scope of her life and yours. It doesn’t matter what your day-to-day relationship is with her, whatever the dynamic, you’re there, and it’s so important.
You cannot gauge your self-worth against what your ex thinks of you. I mean, if you didn’t know the guy and weren’t emotionally attached … if if this was a guy your friend was married to and told you about, you’d think, “This guy isn’t worth wasting precious life on.” You’re feeling stuck because you’re emotionally attached, feeling rejected, and going through a bunch of emotions that are making you sad and depressed. But, what if there was a different perspective? Here’s one: You’re rid of that dude! He’s already a liar, so why do you believe you’ve been replaced by his new wife? And if that were true, it’s just an opportunity to work harder to re-connect with. your kids. Side note: all kids in college are busy, they’re individuating, and don’t have time to text their parents, call, or visit. This is a phase of life that will change when they get married… all of a sudden they need their mom again when they’re past this stage. It’s a good thing. You don’t want to raise kids who’re emotionally dependent on you, because that means they can’t grow up.
Your ex said, “Life would be a lot easier if you were dead.” Your response: “So sorry, but I’m more alive than I’ve ever been!”
Anonymous
June 29, 2018 at 8:18 pmThis is so hard! My youngest is going to college in August and my other daughter is going abroad. Thanks for the ideas that don’t include getting a job or professional day drinking!
Jane
July 1, 2018 at 10:53 amThanks so much for your comment! It’s definitely a hard time, but it sounds like you have a great attitude about it all. I had to laugh about the professional day drinking — I have a feeling that’s what many of us resort to when our kids leave home! Wishing you and your kids all the best! xo jane
Diane
June 27, 2018 at 8:19 amMy oldest is about to graduate college and my youngest just graduated high school. This is a strange time in life. I guess I’ve been so busy for so long that now I feel guilty for sitting and enjoying an old movie or thinking of reading. Just stumbled across your blog (think it was a God thing). Thanks for the ideas and encouragement, and for helping me remember I’m not the only one going through this!
Jane
June 27, 2018 at 5:20 pmDiane, thank you for your lovely comment. You’re so right–it is a strange time in life, and one I definitely wasn’t prepared for! It does take some adjustment, but giving yourself lots of grace and knowing you’re not alone does help a lot! Sending good thoughts and love your way — xo jane
Aimee
June 14, 2018 at 10:48 amMy only child leaves for college in 8 weeks and I love all of these ideas!
Jane
June 14, 2018 at 7:42 pmHi Aimee! Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I hope you enjoy this new time in your life–it truly can be wonderful! xo jane
Kelly
June 1, 2018 at 10:22 amI really needed this! My youngest of 3 just graduated high school last week. The reality of my new life is sinking in and I felt silly about feeling sad…I’m not alone though. These are all great ideas and some I’ve already started, so that was reassuring. Now I look forward to what lies ahead! Thank you so much!!
Jane
June 1, 2018 at 11:41 amKelly, thank you so much for your comment. You’re definitely not alone in this! Honestly, I’m surprised there isn’t more awareness and support for parents going through this transitional period of life! So glad to hear you’re looking forward to what lies ahead, because there are so many great things in store for you! xo jane
Anonymous
June 1, 2018 at 10:20 amI really needed this! My youngest of 3 just graduated high school last week. The reality of my new life is sinking in and I felt silly about feeling sad…I’m not alone though. These are all great ideas and some I’ve already started, so that was reassuring. Now I look forward to what lies ahead! Thank you so much!!
Anonymous
May 30, 2018 at 7:54 pmThank you I’ve been crying every day starting to feel better.
Jane
May 31, 2018 at 12:25 pmI promise you, things will get better! Reading positive books and listening to motivational podcasts really helped me during the first few weeks. Sending love your way.xo jane
Helen Logue
May 25, 2018 at 1:37 amI am hoping this will give me some ideas of where to go forward. My son has moved to Australia which I find extremely saddening. I need some guidance of which direction to go in.
Jane
May 25, 2018 at 9:20 amYes, this is such a transitional time, but I know good things are on the horizon for you, Helen. I hope something here will encourage you and give you some clarity regarding this new chapter of your life. Sending good thoughts your way! xo jane
Kim
May 15, 2018 at 6:22 amThanks for the uplifting advice! My oldest son will be graduating high school in a few weeks and my youngest, who will soon turn 15, just got his first job. I’ve been going through a roller coaster of emotions. What will become of my husband and I once they’re gone? What will I do now that they’re so independent? If I’m not my hisband’s wife or my children’s mother, who am I?! I used to know… now I’m feeling lost. I’ve always made time to paint and draw even when I was more needed, I’ve drawn my whole life. But aside from that, I’m finding I don’t know who I am or what to do with myself, how to get back what I had with my husband before kids. You’ve given me a lot to consider and I feel much better now after reading your kind words. Now I know I can do this! Thank you so much!
Jane
May 16, 2018 at 8:49 amKim, thank you so much for your lovely comment! The emotions and concerns you expressed are exactly what I went through when our youngest left home. Just know that you will find your joy again, and be kind to yourself as you go through this time of transition. You have so many wonderful things ahead of you, and I wish you all the best! xo jane
Hillary Moers
March 6, 2018 at 2:29 pmThank you for the path!
Jane
March 6, 2018 at 4:48 pmThank you!! I wish you all the best on your new path! xo jane
Anonymous
March 6, 2018 at 2:28 pmImmensely helpful… Thank you, I was feeling blue and missing my kids and not sure how to re-invent myself.
Jane
March 6, 2018 at 4:46 pmThank you so much for your lovely comment! I’m so happy to hear this post was helpful to you! xo jane
Ik
December 17, 2019 at 4:11 amThank you, I’m doing most of your suggestions but still feeling silly and empty!
For many years, I worked as faculty staff instructor to in a college , I have a masters degree and a couple of other bachelors degrees . I raised my children single-handed. My heart is empty and sad . They live in another continent. They don’t need me or talk to me like before. Even when I speak with them , I feel silly and outdated .
Anonymous
August 3, 2018 at 11:30 amThank you for this inspiring message. Everything you have said is true. I have been a single parent since the age of 25. Now that they are grown and have their own life. I do find myself feeling lost. My marriage is over and now I turn to my children for help only too face disappointment within myself. Running from myself. But now I have a list of things that I should challenge with My God leading me. But this is so helpful in so many ways. May Our God help us all in every way possible. One day at a time and change things that I can control not the things that I allow to control me. I’m not perfect but My God is. Thank you.
Jane
August 16, 2018 at 4:08 pmYes, taking one day at a time, knowing all will be well, is such a great way to approach this time in life xo jane
Anonymous
March 22, 2021 at 8:09 amMy only child moved out and took the dog as well. I am divorced . I miss them terribly. I am not sure how to deal with all but I ‘ll try to re-invent.
Jane
April 8, 2021 at 2:21 pmI’m so sorry. I hope you’ll give yourself all the time you need to adjust. I’ve found it helps to have something to look forward to, whether it’s planning a trip or just coffee with a friend. Taking long walks, listening to podcasts or music, reading motivational books, and watching funny shows can help, too. It does get easier with time. Sending love and good thoughts–xo Jane